Someone told me that Pope Benedict XVI was so disturbed when The University of Alabama whipped the tar out of Catholic affiliated University of Notre Dame in this year’s National Championship game, that he decided to retire.
I’ll have to think about that.
The truth is, I thought the Pope loved Alabama. Did you know the Holy Father had his latest Popemobile made in Tuscaloosa County? It’s true! The Mercedes plant built the M-Class SUV platform in Sweet Home Alabama and sent it on its way to Germany to be outfitted with the famous glass dome.
The sporty looking vehicle was painted diamond white, with no “SALT LIFE” or giant “BAMA” decals that I know of. (A tasteful Spring Hill College decal, however, was slipped into the glove compartment for later application- ministerial courtesy).
The reports also said that the Popemobile was equipped with the latest M-Class technology, including a stereo system that I’m guessing was pre-loaded with all Hank Williams, Alabama, and Jimmy Buffett’s greatest hits.
I can tell you right now that when I’m 85, there is no way in tarnation I will want to be traveling the world and shouldering the responsibility for millions of souls. They put rocking chairs on porches for a reason. The porch at St. Peter’s Basilica is enormous and can easily hold a rocking chair, a few hammocks, and a table for lemonade.
But if St. Peter’s porch should grow tiresome, The Holy Father would be more than welcome to join the thousands of other retirees on our beautiful Baldwin County beaches during Snowbird season. He could volunteer at one of our many Catholic Churches and would be welcome to join in the Snowbird pancake breakfasts.
When you examine all the evidence, I think that secretly, the Pope may really be a fan of the Crimson Tide. After all, how do you explain the red and white togs or UA’s miraculous win over Notre Dame?
Someone very high up had to have some influence.
And we all thought it was Nick Saban!
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